Jokes

Some people would argue that MBA students and MBA degree holders think to much of themselves.

It might as well be true, I don’t know for sure   But I heard some time ago that one of the distinct human traits is being able to poke fun at yourself. It kinda stuck in my head, alas I don’t remember who is the author of this statement.
Nevertherless, my classes for the week are all attended. And since the finals are not in for another four weeks, I will just have enjoyable time doing my homework: solving problems on Managerial Accounting, writing up a case on Global Perspectives,  reading textbooks and additional materials. That’s going to be fun. Actually, I am going to a party tomorrow night. Maybe I will even report on it later in my blog.

Now speaking of different kind of fun.  Over time I ran in quite a few jokes about MBA. Some of them are actually funny. Here are just a few of my favorites:

You know you are an MBA when:

You think it is actually efficient to write a ten-page paper with six other people you do not know.
You believe you never have any problems in your life, just ‘issues’ and ‘improvement opportunities’.
You refer to your previous life as ‘my sunk costs.’
Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
You decided the only way to afford a house is to call your fellow alumni and offer to name a room after them if they help with the down payment.
Your ‘deliverable’ for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.
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And since I am in part-time MBA program myself, I find these two YouTube videos particularly funny:

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Management Parable:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.” “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
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Some more of these jokes could be found here.

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A cowboy walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, “Bring me some coffee.” The waiter says, “Sure, coming right up.” He gets the cowboy a big  mug of coffee, and the cowboy drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the cowboy returns, with a bucket of manure and a shortgun again. He walks up to the counter and asks for coffee. The waiter says, “Whoa, Dude! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?” The cowboy answers: ”I am getting ready to go for my MBA, so after that I could qualify for an executive position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot shit, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”

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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “Only a little while, senor.”
The American then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”
The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”
“But what then, senor?”
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”
“Millions, senor? Then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Other non-MBA jokes could be found here.

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